Wrong number

Ever feel like telling certain callers that they have the wrong number…when, in fact, they do not? I’m not talking about sales people (or “sales pests” as we fondly refer to them.)

The phone rang last week. It was one of the boys’ teachers. She was calling to tell me that my son was doing very well, academically. Then she shared an anecdote that made me want to die of embarrassment. The class had been doing P.E. indoors, due to bad weather. As they stretched out, the teacher asked if any of the students knew good stretches. My son anxiously raised his hand. He then showed the class the butterfly stretch. You know, the one where you sit on the floor and put your feet together, then pull them in towards your body? That one.

However, he did not call it the butterfly stretch. Instead he called it by the same name that his wrestling coach does, “Feet to the meat.” Luckily, most of the class did not catch the innuendo. My son did not even realize his faux pas and the teacher had to try her hardest not to burst out in laughter at his ignorance of what he had said.

I explained with great haste that the term he used was not our creation, but his coaches’. I am not sure that she believed me. I apologized profusely and vowed to have a talk with coach. Next time a teacher…I think I’ll just pretend I don’t speak English, just until I find out why they are calling.

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