21 January 2009
It is one of the best kept secrets in motherhood today. The fact that a growing number of mothers are on some sort of anti anxiety or anti depressant, isn’t readily shared by the ones who take them.
Yet, my doctor said that antidepressants are more commonly prescribed than any other medicine in the US. Most of the people who take them are women…mommies. Dependence on medication can be an embarrassing thing to admit, even to loved ones. When my doctor first suggested that I start taking an anti depressant to treat my TMJ, I was shocked and felt like a failure. He said that my inability to handle the large amount of stress was manifesting itself through my jaw. I knew that something had to be done, but was resistant to taking medication.
After another week of not being able to open my mouth wide enough to eat, I felt hopeless. Then, I got a call from my aunt. She had heard from my mom that I was struggling with the decision to take the medication I was prescribed. She shared her own story of anxiety, stress overload and horrendous panic attacks. She told me that taking the medicine changed her whole life. She is a calmer person, more productive and happier. She is also a better mommy because she can handle her stress. That one phone call is what changed my mind. I decided to put my pride aside and do what was necessary to get better. It is funny that I never realized just how stressed out I was until the medication started working. It makes a world of difference in my life and the way I treat my kids. My aunt was right. If she had not taken the time to call me and the courage to share her own story, then I may still be in the same horrible situation.
That is why I feel so strongly about sharing my own story. I know how much of a difference my aunt made to me. I know that there are many other moms out there who struggle with the inability to handle their stress. I relate to the embarrassment and sense of failure. I understand how much it hurts to admit that you need help. Sometimes, being a good parent means putting your pride last and the wellbeing of your mental state and children, first. It does not mean that you are a bad mommy, quite the contrary, in fact.
I advise those of you who are overstressed, anxiety filled, or depressed to seek out a good psychologist and discuss the options for getting help. It may not even necessitate medicine, but if it does, do not feel alone and discouraged. It may be the best thing you have ever done for yourself and your family.