“I don’t wanna go to school…”
With summer ending and school underway, parents are transitioning from hearing their children moan about not being able to swim everyday, to their child complaining about homework, their new teachers or being in a different class than their friends. Many parents also begin to hear more complaints of tummy aches and headaches as a result of returning back to school.
The psychological term for school-induced illnesses a child may develop when he or she is trying to dodge school is School Avoidance, or School Refusal. Symptoms include nausea, fatigue, headaches and abdominal pain. According to Lori Crosby, Psy.D., Associate Professor, Pediatrics, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center, even if children start to complain about stomach aches and other ailments, parents should still send their child to school unless they have symptoms of fever or a contagious illness. “It would probably be helpful to schedule a visit with the child’s pediatrician to rule out a ‘true’ medical problem, which may give the parent the confidence to send their child when in doubt,” says Dr Crosby.
Why kids cut school
Around 1-5% of children in the US suffer from School Avoidance and Dr Crosby says there are several reasons why a child may begin to do it. Among them are social problems such as being bullied or isolated, having problems with learning, taking tests, giving presentations, or the child being worried about family issues such as divorce, moves, deaths, and/or a parent’s job changes/losses. Many young children experience School Avoidance when they learn that they will be spending a lot of time away from their families and their familiar settings.
Dr. Crosby suggests that while School Avoidance is not out of the ordinary, parents can seek professional counsel if they want to help their child overcome their fears associated with attending school. “Brief counseling with a psychologist or social worker may be helpful. In addition, parents should talk with school personnel. Psychologists are very familiar with such issues and can be very helpful with implementing a plan for the child,” she says.
Dr Crosby says that children who have School Avoidance issues usually go back and forth between liking school and not liking it. “Often children with these histories wax and wane in that they have good phases and more avoidant phases,” she says. “Children usually start the year off with a great outlook about attending school, and after a brief honeymoon of high hopes and good attendance that lasts for a few days to a few months, they slide back into some School Avoidance behaviors characterized by illness complaints.”
Tips for handling it
Children may not outgrow their School Avoidance issues. However, Dr. Crosby says that there are some actions that parents can take to help solve the problem.
“The best approach is for parents to remain consistent with getting their child to school, setting limits, and establishing a regular routine,” she says. “The routine should be very predictable and consistent in the morning. Children benefit from having everything ready and set out before they go to sleep which reduces the morning rush and any anxiety they may be feeling.”
She adds that parents also need to be aware of their own anxiety related to sending their child to school, because children pick up on subtle messages and may use them to their advantage.