Supernanny sleep clinic: nightwaking
Introduction
What do you do when your sound sleeper suddenly starts waking up at night? Supernanny sleep expert Mandy Gurney has the solution…
Supernanny Expert
24/10/2007
4/5 stars (rated 29 times)
Toddler sleep: nightwaking
Many moms run into sleep problems out of the blue with older toddlers even though their child might have slept like the proverbial baby since day one. So what do you do when something starts ruining your routine? Supernanny children’s sleep expert Mandy Gurney answers your questions…
Why has my son started waking at night?
My 20 month old son slept through the night from 9 weeks and has since been wonderful at going to bed: at 7pm he kisses Daddy goodnight, takes his bottle and heads for his bedroom. I put him in bed and kiss him goodnight – and we don’t hear from him until 6.30am the next morning.
At least that’s how it used to be. But three weeks ago he woke up screaming and we ended up having to take him into bed with us to settle him. That’s been the pattern since then and I keep having to go into him and put him back to bed – as many as 28 times one night. We’re exhausted – please help!
Mandy says…
My first thought is that your child may be starting to have nightmares, which could have triggered this problem in the first place. This means that he does need your reassurance. However, children don’t have nightmares every night, or frequently throughout the night unless there are some underlying anxiety issues. You need to take it slowly because you don’t want to increase his anxiety levels!
Talking to your child effectively rewards him for waking, so keep communication to a minimum and try to avoid making eye contact
I’d suggest introducing a the gradual retreat method – it gives your child time to adjust as you distance back from him, until he has the confidence to sleep in his room alone.
Step-by-step to gradual retreat…
1 Find a sleep symbol for example, a cushion that you name the ‘sleepy cushion’. Explain to your son that you’ll sit on the ‘sleepy cushion’ while he goes to sleep. For the first three nights place the cushion next to his bed and sit there until he goes to sleep (wait five minutes once he drifts off, to make sure he has gone into deep sleep).
2 After three nights in this position move the cushion away from the bedside by 1-2 feet.
3 Repeat this process, moving the cushion further towards the door in small steps every fourth night, until the cushion is outside the door and then gradually move it further from the door.
4 The cushion is a symbol of where you sit and becomes more significant once you are out of sight. Make sure your son knows where you’re sitting each night, and aim to be in the doorway by night 12.
5 Work to a timescale The whole program should be completed by the end of three weeks. If your child wakes in the night, then repeat the process from step 1.
Good luck!
Mandy Gurney
Supernanny Expert