Toilet training your toddler
When you reach the stage where you’ve spent a good two years changing diapers (not to mention hundreds of dollars buying them!) you’ll probably long for the day when your child happily races off to the potty without any prompting from you when the urge strikes. Try not to rush into it though – because if your toddler isn’t ready it could cause
problems that mean it takes much longer to get him dry. Looking out for the signs he might be ready and taking it from there means you can help him train himself.
When are they ready?
While some babies have dry days from around 18 months, you’re more likely to potty train successfully if you wait until your child is between 2 and 2½ years. At this point he’s more likely to be developmentally ready and may be showing an interest in how you go to the bathroom. Often this ties in with what stage his peer group is at – if he goes to daycare, where the ‘big boys’ are out of diapers, or if he sees older siblings going, he’ll probably be keen to use the toilet too. Every child is different though, so do hang on for longer if your toddler shows no signs of control or no interest in learning.
What are the signs?
In order to be ready for potty training your child has to be aware of the pressure in his bladder or bowel and understand that it signals the urge to go to the toilet. He also needs the control to hang on until he gets to the potty or bathroom and the ability to pull down his underwear. Although you might be under pressure to get your toddler toilet trained by your mom (back in the day moms did it much sooner, so she may tell you that you were dry by 2) or by your child’s daycare center, your child simply won’t be able to hold on until he acquires these skills. Watch out for these signs:
- He tends to go at the same time For example, he may get into the habit of having a bowel movement after breakfast.
- His diaper stays dry for longer When you change him you may notice the diaper is very light because he hasn’t actually used it. If he can stray dry for three or more hours, it’s a good sign he’s learning to control his bladder.
- He notices when he’s wet or soiled and tells you he feels uncomfortable.
Some children find the act of pooping quite emotional and can get upset. Be cheerful and matter of fact about it, saying, “Out it comes” and letting your toddler wave goodbye to it as it’s flushed
Picking a potty
Take your toddler with you to choose his potty as this will mean he’s more likely to use it! A conventional potty should have a non-slip base so it sits firmly on the floor and doesn’t skid, as this could make your child feel insecure about sitting on it or getting up. A potty with a lid should have an inner bowl that lifts out easily from the top. You can also get musical potties that play a tune any time your toddler is successful and these can be great for encouraging a reluctant performer!
The best time to start
You need to be ready to potty train too. Don’t plan it in for a time when your schedule is particularly busy and you’re preoccupied with other matters, and if you’re unwell postpone it – ditto if your child is under the weather. You should also avoid doing it at times that may be stressful for your child, for example if you’ve recently had a new baby or moved house. Plan to do it when the weather is good, so you can let your toddler go without his diaper indoors and he doesn’t have too many layers of clothing to remove when you’re out.
Making it easier
- Start watching out for your toddler’s signals and label what he’s feeling: “You need to go potty?” Then take him to sit on the potty and label what he’s about to do: “Go pee-pee” or “go poop”, for example. This helps him make the connection between what he’s feeling and doing. It will also help him understand that the potty is where he should do it, so that he starts to associate the potty with pooping or peeing.
- If he just misses the potty and poops on the floor, don’t make a fuss – use a wipe to transfer the poop into the potty to reinforce the idea that that’s where it should go.
- Remind him regularly and ask him to come to the toilet with you when you go. Give him lots of praise and positive attention when he gets it right. If it’s taking longer than three weeks, try using a reward chart with stickers for each successful trip, and a mini-reward for a dry day.
- Get him in the habit of washing his hands after every potty session, and encourage him to wipe his own bottom as soon as he seems able (bear in mind he probably won’t be able to manage this properly until he’s around 5). Girls should be shown how to wipe from front to back to avoid transferring bacteria into the vagina.
Dealing with accidents
They’re inevitable in the early days, especially if your child is distracted by play. Try to ignore them – instead, praise him when he’s successful. Make sure you have plenty of changes of clothes and if you’re out and about, stash spares in your bag along with a diaper just in case you get down to the last pair of dry shorts! A stash of diaper bags is handy too, for storing wet or soiled clothing.