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Teaching your child good manners

Introduction

It’s driving you crazy reminding them to ‘say please!’ but what else can you do? Choose between these four very different approaches from Supernanny.com members.

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31/05/2007
5/5 Star Rating
5/5 stars (rated 6 times)

The magic words

It’s driving you crazy reminding them to ‘say please!’ but what else can you do? Choose from these four very different approaches from Supernanny.com members.

 

Softly softly…

“I don’t force my kids to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. They do spontaneously most of the time but if they forget I think it’s wrong to get them to say something they don’t mean. Instead I repeat what I’d rather they say after them, so ‘water please’. It’ll sink in eventually.”
Kerry, mom to John, 5, and Adie, 3

Excuse me?

“I tried reminding my kids constantly but just repeating it all the time didn’t seem to be working – plus is was making me mad! Now, until they say ‘please’, I act like I haven’t heard the request and if I’m expecting a ‘thank you’ I just stand and wait for one until they remember what I’m there for!”
Lisa, mom to two kids, aged 8 and 4

Make it fun…

We have two ways to encourage the kids to mind their manners when it seems like they’re forgetting to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. At first we had a reward chart just for this, but it was difficult to remember to add the stars if the kids remembered their manners when we were out and about. So then we invented ‘P & Q spotting’, and the person (could be mom and dad, too!) who’d said the most (genuine!) pleases and thank yous by the end of the day won a piece of candy. It works a treat!
Jim, dad to Sam, 5, and Martha, 2

Manners to ransom!

“Just getting at the kids to ‘say please’ wasn’t working – they’d just repeat it mechanically after me and I felt like they didn’t mean it at all. So now if they don’t say please, I’ve taught them that I’ll clear my throat once to remind them, and if they still don’t remember, they won’t get what they’re asking for for 10 minutes. Might seem harsh but it worked so well I only had to do it for a couple of weeks!”
Gail, mom to three kids, all over 6

 

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Find Out More

  • Excuse Me! By Karen Katz. Cute lift-the-flap pictures make please and thank you fun and easy to remember – this is the perfect way to introduce those magic words that all little ones should know.
  • 365 Manners Kids Should Know By Sheryl Eberly. Full of role-playing exercises, games, and other activities you can do with your child, plus age-by-age tips on what you should expect, what manners to teach, and fun ways to make learning manners fun.
  • Social Smarts: Manners for Today’s Kids By Carol Barkin. Good for grade-schoolers and tweens: a range of etiquette advice including telephone technique, table manners and behavior in public.
  • How Rude!: The Teenagers' Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out By Alex J Packer. From rude noises and table manners to netiquette and dating manners, all your teen needs to know presented in humorous tones with plenty of  cartoons, boldface headings and goofy quizzes to liven things up.

Related Links

  • Stop the backchat! Many parents complain about disrespectful behavior from their children. Backchat, sarcasm, bad manners, swearing and cheekiness can be frustrating and difficult to handle – but handle it you can, with this advice from Supernanny expert Victoria Samuel…
  • Get your child to listen Your child’s selective hearing can be a big source of frustration, but training him to listen isn’t as hard as you think…
  • The reward chart Positive attention and praise are the most effective rewards for good behavior – including saying please and thank you!