Appetite for destruction
When Supernanny visited the McKeevers she found their sons were having a smashing time – literally. Young children can often be breathtakingly destructive and it can be really disheartening to see your home and precious possessions (and sometimes even their own favorite toys) come in for a battering from your child, especially once they’re old enough to know better. Why do they enjoy breaking things so much?
Curiosity killed your stuff…
It might help you to understand what’s going on with your child if you pause to think about where he is developmentally. Children are naturally curious and their minds are always thinking, pondering, wondering. Some of them satisfy that curiosity by reading books and surfing the internet.
But for some children those options aren’t enough to answer the endless questions they have about how things work, how they’re put together, what’s inside them. These are often the kind of kids who can’t leave anything alone no matter how often you tell them to. They don’t sit still for a second, they constantly reach out for things, examine them, pick at them, sniff them, even taste them. Whether they’re household items, food, tools, paint – they all warrant close inspection as far as your child is concerned.
Unfortunately, what that means for your stuff is probably all too familiar to you. It’s likely to end up being ripped apart – not necessarily because your child has violent tendencies, but because he needs to satisfy that nagging curiosity about just how it was put together.
Meeting your child halfway
The simplest way to ensure that those expensive toys (and that expensive hi-fi equipment…) doesn’t end up as a pile of component parts scattered across the floor is to take steps to satisfy your child’s curiosity yourself. After all, his mechanical genius isn’t something you want to stifle when it means he might be fixing your car for free 10 years down the line, or, better yet, shaping up to be the next Bill Gates!
Think about the type of toys you’re buying for him. Instead of that expensive truck that he’ll end up dissecting, buy kits so he can build something, not take it apart. This way you’re turning his destruction into construction. Think erector sets, meccano – your local toy or department store will have kits to make robots from, instead of buying that read-made Transformer he’ll just end up disassembling! Bear in mind he might not want to make what’s shown on the box though – encourage him to put whatever bit he wants to wherever he wants to, and let him use his imagination to invent something new.
Thinking outside the box
You can take it further by donating broken household appliances to the cause so your child can strip them down, or register with your local Freecycle group and take advantage of something secondhand, such as a broken computer someone is passing on for repair.
Satisfy your younger child by giving him things to work his magic on before you discard them – letting him rip up old cereal boxes and jump on milk cartons to squash them will get the urge to destroy out of his system before your soft furnishings suffer the consequences.
Mission of discovery
Getting destructive kids outside is vital. Often children who smash things up at home are doing so partly out of boredom so take him out hiking or biking and let him pitch rocks into a lake or take it out on an old, rotting tree stump. Keep an eye on him though – remember that if you’re in an area where wild animals live you don’t want to let him destroy any nests, burrows or any other habitats.
Getting help
Sadly, some children really are on a mission to destroy. If your child hurts other kids or animals, or has taken his destructive tendencies to potentially dangerous levels, he may have an undiagnosed medical condition, or need psychiatric help. Speak to your pediatrician about getting a referral to a child behavior specialist.