Encouraging your gifted child

Encourage your gifted child without hyperparenting!

Kids have all sorts of talents and as a proud parent it’s natural to want to encourage your child to excel in those areas where he shows an aptitude. But hyperparenting in this way can put your child off his hobbies and interests.

Our son loses interest in the hobbies we encourage…

My husband and I are both musicians and would love for our 6-year-old son to begin music lessons. We’ve tried piano lessons and violin lessons but after a few private sessions, he loses interest and refuses to go back. He’s very active and agile, and much prefers physically enriching classes. Should we force him to choose an instrument, or encourage him to continue to develop his athleticism?

Pam says…

Personally, there are two things my children have been required to do, regardless of their talents, or interests: learn to swim and play an instrument. If music is a strong value in your home (and as you are both musicians, I assume it is), then you have to decide in advance how you will navigate this and if, and under what circumstances you will allow your child to quit. 

My children knew how important music was to me, and they knew their choice was a choice of instrument. As a parent, I was ready to follow through and commit to sitting with them once in a while during practice (delighting in their progress), setting a schedule for them to practice, and offering encouragement. A child should know that it’s disrespectful to the teacher to come week after week, only to be confronted with an unprepared child.

I believe that the internal diligence and the self-discipline that learning an instrument teaches a child is important. I also think that handling both a sport and a music lesson is quite doable. If your son basically likes music, I’d encourage him to stick with it – the joy music will bring him later in life is worth your persistence.

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