Baby and toddler sleep Q&A
As soon as you become a mom you’ll start to obsess about your baby’s sleep patterns – how long should she sleep, where and how should she sleep, will she ever sleep?! And as soon as she reaches the toddler years you’ll find that you’re still asking the same questions! Fact is, babies and toddlers have very different sleep patterns that adults but with a little knowledge and a sleep plan that suits you and your child you should be able to get her into a routine (and hopefully get some sleep yourself!)…
How much sleep does a newborn need?
This will vary to some extent but one thing to keep in mind is that your newborn can’t be expected to sleep for long periods of time simply because her tummy is too small to hold very much milk so she will wake frequently in her first few weeks, needing to be fed. For this reason, there is little point in trying to get her into any kind of sleep routine, as forcing her to go longer between feeds could compromise her weight gain and wellbeing. It’s likely her routine will exhaust you so get as much rest as you can – nap when she does, if possible and don’t expect too much of yourself in the way of chores and three-course gourmet dinners.
How much sleep does an older baby need?
By 3 months or so your baby probably will be sleeping for longer periods between feeds so this is the time when you might start gaining back six or so hours of undisturbed sleep at night.
From 6 months your baby likely will sleep less during the day and for longer periods at night – possibly 10 to 12 hours. It’s around now that she’ll be weaned onto solids, and this means she will be able to go for longer between feeds – but be prepared for disturbed nights again once her teeth start to cut through, as it can cause discomfort. This is a good time to start any sleep training plan you might want to try, especially if your baby relies on being fed or rocked to sleep. While that’s do-able while she’s small and fairly light, it gets much less feasible as she grows.
From 12 months or so, your baby will likely be having one long daytime nap and sleeping for up to 12 hours overnight. She’ll also be on the move, and burning more calories than she has up to now, so make sure she is getting enough to eat during the day so that she doesn’t wake up at night because she’s hungry.
How much sleep does a toddler need?
Toddlers are notoriously resistant to sleep – they’re too busy being distracted by interesting things and of course the fact that they’re more mobile means they can potentially climb out of their cribs and go walkabout after bedtime. Early rising also can be a problem though you shouldn’t be tempted to put your child to bed later in an attempt to get him to sleep longer – he will likely just end up overtired and difficult to settle at bedtime.
It may take a while but the key to getting decent nights with a toddler is consistency – and that means getting up and taking him back to bed if and when he gets up. Try not to give in and let him get into bed with you, as neither of you will get sufficiently restful sleep and it can be a hard habit to break. He’ll likely still be having a nap, so scheduling that earlier in the day may help make bedtimes easier and ensure he’s tired enough to sleep through.
Why is my preschooler not sleeping?
Your preschooler should be fairly settled in her sleep but at around 3 children become much more susceptible to nightmares. These fears can be exacerbated by her move to a big bed. Try to ease her fears by using nightlights and if she has recently moved to a big bed, re-establish her boundary by using a bed guard or consider moving her back into her crib for a few weeks and then trying with the big bed again. Ease her fear of nightmares by hanging a dreamcatcher in her room and by using Nightmare or Monster Spray (mix it up in a plastic spray bottle by adding a few drops of perfume or essential oil to plain water). Believe it or not, having a goldfish in the room also can help!
It’s also possible your child may not be getting enough exercise. If she’s at daycare or preschool, ask if she’s being allowed to nap in the late afternoon and if she is, request that this be stopped or moved to earlier on the day. If possible, give her a chance to race around outside for half hour or so before her dinner.
Is it okay to give my baby a pacifier at bedtime?
Yes it is, but if you’re breastfeeding it’s best to wait until this established. The sucking technique used for breastfeeding is very different to that used for sucking a pacifier so if you offer your baby one before she’s used to breastfeeding it could affect her feeding technique and this may reduce your milk supply.
Keep in mind too that while it’s okay for your baby to become attached to a pacifier there will come a time when you need to wean her off it (there is some evidence that they can interfere with speech development) and this could cause disturbed nights if she has come to rely on it to help her drift off to sleep.
How can I calm my preschooler down before bedtime?
A soothing, calming environment just prior to bedtime can avert overexcitement and make it much easier to settle your older child down at bedtime. Try to avoid letting her watch TV, although calming music can be restful. A bedtime story is a lovely bonding experience for you both.
Why is it so important to sleep my baby on her back?
Until the early 1990s, moms were advised to lay their babies on their fronts to sleep – it was thought this protected them from choking if they spit up milk while asleep. However, in 1992 the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommended that babies be placed on their backs to sleep after research suggested that it was safer. Since then the number of crib deaths has drastically reduced so this is one piece of baby sleep advice you’d do well to follow.
Can I put my baby down to sleep with a bottle of juice or milk?
Definitely not – she could potentially choke and also it means her teeth will be bathed in sugary milk or juice while she’s asleep. These can combine with naturally occurring bacteria in her mouth and decay her baby teeth.
Is it okay to let my baby cry it out?
Even with sleep routines based around controlled crying it’s not advisable to leave your baby crying for longer than 10 minutes maximum and you shouldn’t do it at all if she’s under 6 months. If you are using controlled crying be sure to keep going back into your baby to check she is okay – letting your baby know you’re close by is an essential element of this sleep training method.
Can I swaddle my baby?
Swaddling does seem to help babies settle more easily when they’re placed on their backs, chiefly because it stops them from waking themselves with their own startle reflex. If you do try it, use a cotton sheet so your baby doesn’t overheat, and don’t wrap her too tightly.
Is it okay to co-sleep?
This is entirely up to you and some moms do find it helps prolong breastfeeding. However, it can cause problems once your baby is larger and you want to move her to a crib to sleep, so keep that in mind. It might be better to follow the middle path and place your baby’s crib right next to your bed. If you do co-sleep, put your baby in her crib to sleep if you’ve been drinking or taking medications that might make you particularly drowsy. Keep in mind too that the AAP discourages co-sleeping and there is evidence that there’s an increased risk of SIDS if a baby shares a bed with its parents.