Mom’s the word!
PJ is officially our son! We couldn’t be more excited. After delay upon delay, the scheduled court date wasn’t changed due to some unforeseen circumstance (or some disorganized social worker!). The conference call with the judge in Hawaii was actually anti-climactic, though we had butterflies in our stomachs. The legal jargon went over our heads, we could barely hear over the phone lines, and it was all of 10 minutes long, but it went off without a hitch. The notary we had to have present verified to the judge over the phone that we were who we said we were. They asked us a few odd questions: “Why do you want to adopt?”; “How does PJ fit into your family?” After well over a year of trying to adopt PJ those questions seemed silly. But as we’d experienced throughout the adoption process, each new person introduced to our case (in this case the judge) needed to be educated so we answered awkwardly: “Because we want to be parents…”; “He fits in great and is really happy…”
PJ’s birth grandmother, Nancy, was a godsend, staying with us during the big event and keeping our busy toddler occupied while we struggled to hear what the judge was saying!
Meanwhile, PJ’s birth grandmother, Nancy, was staying with us during the big event. It’s funny how that made so many of our friends and family nervous, even after she visited last year for a week… even after the adoption was final for that matter. We felt that it was special and fitting to have her visit during the actual adoption. Besides that, she kept our very busy toddler occupied while we struggled to hear what the judge was saying! She loves him and that’s all we can ask for.
That night, we had an informal celebration with close friends and family and Nancy got to meet everyone for the first time. She fit right in and our family finally realized how wonderful it was that PJ has three grandmothers. They also realized what we’d been saying all along was true… that you can never have too many people love your child!
Although being a foster parent to PJ was not what we had in mind in the beginning of our adoption process, it has definitely had its benefits. First off, you get a stipend based on where you live. Granted it’s not much, but considering I wasn’t working as much as I would have liked, anything helped. Formula is expensive! Secondly, his healthcare was covered. Thankfully we didn’t have any major health issues once we got him to California, but his hernia surgery had been fully covered and he had the best doctors in Honolulu perform the surgery. We also have the option of requesting assistance up until he’s 18 if anything should come up related to his surgery or his wellbeing. Thirdly, he had an annual clothing allowance! Again, it wasn’t much but it was helpful just the same. Lastly, we’ll get the same tax deduction for adopting him as we would have through domestic or international adoption. Not knowing what to expect, and really having no expectations, the process was made much more bearable by these benefits.
I want another baby! I feel our family isn’t complete yet. My husband is pretty happy with the way things are, but isn’t ruling another out just yet…
It’s interesting to think that if we’d heard about PJ during those first few months of starting the process, we may not have pursued the situation. The unknown drug exposure, unknown whereabouts of the birthparents and dealing with the whole foster care system were things we weren’t interested in at that time. We’re so thankful that we found out about PJ later in our journey and were ready and willing to make the leap of faith when he came along.
We still have a facilitator and an attorney looking for another baby for us. We hired and paid them three years ago. I want another baby – I feel our family isn’t complete yet. My husband is pretty happy with the way things are, but isn’t ruling another out just yet… We’re both a little worried we won’t find another baby as great as PJ, but time will tell, and we’ll just have to see if we’re willing to make the leap of faith when it presents itself.