Are you a bossy mom?

Back off, mom!

A new study reveals that verbally aggressive moms tend to control their children’s choice of activities as well as use physical negative touch, along with directives, when trying to alter their child’s actions.

Researchers led by Steven R. Wilson, of Purdue University, videotaped 40 moms as they completed a 10-minute play period with one of their children between the ages of 3 and 8 years. The moms then completed a series of questionnaires, including the Verbal Aggressiveness (VA) scale.

Moms who scored higher on the self-reported VA Scale engaged in more frequent directing of their child’s behavior during the play activities. These moms were more likely to control activity choices as well as the pace and duration of activities. High VA moms did so repeatedly and in a manner that tended to enforce an activity choice they had made. Low VA moms were more likely to follow their child’s lead or seek their child’s input about choice of activity.

High VA moms used what researchers call ‘physical negative touch’ (PNT) when trying to change their child’s actions – examples included restraining a child by the shoulder or the wrist to prevent him or her from reaching a toy. No instances of PNT occurred for low VA moms.

In addition, children with low VA moms displayed virtually no resistance to their mother’s directives. Children with high VA moms occasionally resisted their moms’ directives, though this resistance tended to be indirect and short-lived.

“Our study has implications for parenting classes and interventions,” the researchers conclude. “In addition to talking about why it’s important for parents to avoid lots of verbally aggressive behavior to avoid damaging their child’s self-esteem, parents who have this tendency also need to learn how to follow their child’s lead and read their child’s signals, as opposed to just taking over the play period themselves.”

 

Was this article helpful?